Public Toilets on the Blink Dampen the Mood
An ever growing group of citizens are joining forces to take aim at the corporate toilet lobby over allegedly hazardous auto flush technology. Many people attest that they have been unexpectedly wetted by waste water mixed with fecal matter.
Protesters are demanding that solutions to this nasty problem be implemented immediately. Angry rejectionists are protesting the auto sensors by leaving wet seats un-wiped and, in some severe cases, seat covers un-flushed. Law enforcement officials are at a loss for how to regulate the attacks. Many food industry and gas station employees on janitorial duty have been shocked and dismayed, following an ambush. Statistics show that severe cases of Entamaphobia, the fear of opening doors, is on the rise.
“We need common sense solutions,” declares outspoken protest organizer, Anita Nupants of San Antonio, Texas. “Unpredictable flush sensors have been ruining our date nights for far too long!”
Corporate toilet conglomerates are beginning to recognize the urges of the public. The CEO at Flushworx International Corporation LLC, I.C. Butts, made this statement at a recent plumbing conference. “We understand that people are angry. Our lavatory laboratory is doing everything in it’s capacity to streamline any technology that may be considered amiss.”
“He’s so full of it,” retorts Nupants. “I.C. Butts and his ragtag group of corporate thugs have done squat about this issue!”
Tech minded members of the protest movement have offered ideas for how to address the issue of unintended toilet sensor activation with solutions such as splash proof antimicrobial inner-lid auto shields or moving the flushing sensor to the attached stall door.
“It’s very simple,” states Justina Jiff of Smarty Pants Labs. “By rerouting the auto flush sensor to the door latch of the stall, you ensure a clean bowl every time. The sensor alerts when the door is latched and it triggers when the latch is opened. As long as users of the system are reminded to scoot any moist seat covers or toilet tissue into the bowl before exiting the stall, this design should be incredibly effective. Now, if we could solve the issue of women hovering whilst peeing in multiple directions, we’d be on easy street!”
A prototype for the Smarty Pants Labs Latch Sensor is currently in production and will be deposited at Flushworx International’s processing facility in the coming days.
It is unclear what I.C. Butts and the Flushworx team will fling back.