Chronic Wasting Disease (CWD) — AKA: Zombie-Deer Disease — is being spread among the elk population and has been shutting down the nervous system of deer. Symptoms include a dead stare in the eyes and listless drooling. Scientists are concerned that consumption of meat from hoofed animals could spread the undead disease to humans. Who knew the zombie apocalypse would be caused by Bambi? Hasn’t he been through enough?! More details on Business Insider.
You may also like
Real Life Drive-Thru Experience Nailed With ‘McApathy’ Robot
HAMBURGLARVILLE--Fast-food companies are replacing their employees with robots. But, don’t worry – they’re programmed to provide the same level of crappy service you’re comfortable with when ordering your triple cheeseburger meal with cheese fries and a side of cheese sauce. McDonald’s fiercest competitor, McDarla’s, has already started doing this, focusing on the key ingredient of every successful chain—consistency. It won’t matter where you are, from Seattle to New York, order a number one and their robots will always give you number two.
According to McDarla’s Chief Technology Officer, Bit Koyne, the new robots are named ‘McApathy’, and each…
Public Toilets on the Blink Dampen the Mood
An ever growing group of citizens are joining forces to take aim at the corporate toilet lobby over allegedly hazardous auto flush technology. Many people attest that they have been unexpectedly wetted by waste water mixed with fecal matter.
Protesters are demanding that solutions to this nasty problem be implemented immediately. Angry rejectionists are protesting the auto sensors by leaving wet seats un-wiped and, in some severe cases, seat covers un-flushed. Law enforcement officials are at a loss for how to regulate the attacks. Many food industry and gas station employees on janitorial duty have been shocked and dismayed, following an ambush. Statistics show that severe cases of Entamaphobia, the fear…
Editor’s Note: This was originally an academic paper I wrote in APA style for a class during my studies in Strategic Communications. However, it holds weight for why comedy should be taken very seriously when it comes to delivering news topics to younger generations effectively.
What is the Most Effective News Format for Millennials?
A meme pops up in your Facebook feed. It makes a bold claim about a presidential candidate that seems questionable. You make your way to YouTube and a comedian cracks jokes about an opposing candidate on a satirical news show. Are these reliable sources of information? Is our youth a victim of “fake news”? Growing technology use is an inevitable part of modern society. Amidst this fact, the common spread of misinformation across the internet has caused public concern among older generations (Brandon, 2019). The assumption that Millennials are misinformed about today’s affairs…
With the emergence of Donald Trump into the political field and subsequent Presidency, a little know profession saw a surge; not only in need, but in recognition. Political Fact Checkers were once the under-dogs, hidden behind the scenes, in basements, garages, and outhouses. Their work was rarely quoted, and they were rarely given a bi-line.
However, once Donald Trump popped onto the scene with his over 10,000 lies, Political Fact Checkers became heroes. They began to receive bi-lines, guest spots on news programs, and even their own offices.
Now as we face the 2020 elections, PFC’s are beginning to fear for their jobs. According to a spokes-person for the Keep Us Great Fact Checkers Association (KUGFCA) a growing concern for their jobs arose after fact checking the first Democratic Political Debate. …
Ayahuasca A Psychedelic Laxative
Every year, thousands of people travel to the Peruvian Amazon to take part in an incredible ritual. Often by firelight, Shamanic Spirit Guides offer a mental and emotional release by way of Ayahuasca. At some point in ancient human history, someone discovered that adding an MAOI inhibitor to Dimethyltryptamine (DMT), would make the user trip balls. That must have been an amazing day in the jungle. Image the surprise!
People often seek out Ayahuasca to purge or overcome mental anguish from previous trauma. Scientific brain scans have shown that this therapy significantly decreases activity in the areas of the brain associated with trauma (AsapSCIENCE). There is also a less discussed side effect of Ayahuasca use, it makes you poop your pants.
After days of criticism regarding the Trump Administrations “Zero Tolerance” policy towards migrants and the treatment of children in custody; the Administration has decided to take un-precedented steps in what they are calling a “show of solidarity” for these children.
In what she is calling her “final” press conference (we can only hope) Sarah Huckabee Sanders told a crowd of baffled reporters that the Trump Administration has decide not to shower or brush their teeth until all the children in DHS custody are able to shower themselves. Sanders reported that even though the President is at the G-20 summit he is committed to this new policy and will refrain from any personal hygiene during his trip.
Speaking to the press upon his arrival at the g20 summit President Trump explained that after speaking with his…