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LGBTQ Eyes Roll Out of Head After Sophie Turner Claims She’s Not Straight.

Is Sophie Turner bisexual or pansexual?

Does Sophie Turner get same-sex love? Let’s explore this. During a Rolling Stone interview, Game of Thrones and X-Men star Sophie Turner suggests that she’s been with “girls” and that “everyone experiments,” claiming that she “loves a soul, not a gender.” Does this mean that Sophie Turner truly understands the depth, complexity, and culture of same-sex relationships?

“Everyone experiments.”

–Sophie Turner

Let’s get something STRAIGHT: Using the word “experiment” when referring to your sexual encounters with the same gender means that you are (straight, that is). If anyone knows, I and my fellow LGBTQ comrades know that when we share years of our lives invested in a relationship with our same-sex partners, it’s not us trying to find ourselves. This isn’t college, folks. When love becomes part of the equation, the experiment is over. Just because you made out with your sorority sister, it doesn’t mean you even remotely understand what it means to “love a soul, not a gender.” Because honey, an “experiment” isn’t love.

“Honey, an experiment isn’t love.”

–Lily Khuu

LOVE is you and your LGBTQ partner holding each other while you both cry because your families don’t fully accept your sexuality. LOVE is listening to your partner snore in your ear every night, holding their hand through stage three cancer, and helping their daughter write her college admissions essays. LOVE is forcing yourself not to watch the next episode of your favorite show on Netflix because you promised you would only watch it together. LOVE is experiencing heart-break because she lost your favorite denim vest at a Tegan and Sarah concert that she went to without you.

“LOVE is experiencing heart-break because she lost your favorite denim vest at a Tegan and Sarah concert that she went to without you.”

–Lily Khuu

So, no Sophie dear — you don’t get to claim you understand same-sex love. We would appreciate it if you didn’t reduce our community’s sincere romantic relationships to your headline gimmicks. Go commit yourself to years of discrimination because you can’t help but to love someone that society shames you for and then we can talk. As you enjoy your straight relationships while taking praise for supposedly being LGBTQ, we all roll our eyes STRAIGHT our of our heads.

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Corporate Radar Science Now

Real Life Drive-Thru Experience Nailed With ‘McApathy’ Robot

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Real Life Drive-Thru Experience Nailed With ‘McApathy’ Robot

HAMBURGLARVILLE--Fast-food companies are replacing their employees with robots. But, don’t worry – they’re programmed to provide the same level of crappy service you’re comfortable with when ordering your triple cheeseburger meal with cheese fries and a side of cheese sauce. McDonald’s fiercest competitor, McDarla’s, has already started doing this, focusing on the key ingredient of every successful chain—consistency. It won’t matter where you are, from Seattle to New York, order a number one and their robots will always give you number two.

Robots will intentionally forgot to include napkins or straws inside of your to-go orders so that the experience is authentic. (Source: Robotics and Automation News)

According to McDarla’s Chief Technology Officer, Bit Koyne, the new robots are named ‘McApathy’, and each…

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Corporate Radar Science Now

Wet Protesters Riot Against Auto-Flush Toilet Sensors

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Public Toilets on the Blink Dampen the Mood

An ever growing group of citizens are joining forces to take aim at the corporate toilet lobby over allegedly hazardous auto flush technology.  Many people attest that they have been unexpectedly wetted by waste water mixed with fecal matter.

Woman suffering from PTSD (Poop Transfer Surprise Disorder) after being violated.

Protesters are demanding that solutions to this nasty problem be implemented immediately. Angry rejectionists are protesting the auto sensors by leaving wet seats un-wiped and, in some severe cases, seat covers un-flushed. Law enforcement officials are at a loss for how to regulate the attacks. Many food industry and gas station employees on janitorial duty have been shocked and dismayed, following an ambush. Statistics show that severe cases of Entamaphobia, the fear…

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Comedy is the Most Effective News Format for Millennials

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Editor’s Note: This was originally an academic paper I wrote in APA style for a class during my studies in Strategic Communications. However, it holds weight for why comedy should be taken very seriously when it comes to delivering news topics to younger generations effectively.

What is the Most Effective News Format for Millennials?

            A meme pops up in your Facebook feed.  It makes a bold claim about a presidential candidate that seems questionable.  You make your way to YouTube and a comedian cracks jokes about an opposing candidate on a satirical news show.  Are these reliable sources of information?  Is our youth a victim of “fake news”?  Growing technology use is an inevitable part of modern society.  Amidst this fact, the common spread of misinformation across the internet has caused public concern among older generations (Brandon, 2019).  The assumption that Millennials are misinformed about today’s affairs…

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Corporate Radar Political Wake Up

Political Fact-Checkers Fear Unemployment After 2020

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With the emergence of Donald Trump into the political field and subsequent Presidency, a little know profession saw a surge; not only in need, but in recognition.  Political Fact Checkers were once the under-dogs, hidden behind the scenes, in basements, garages, and outhouses.  Their work was rarely quoted, and they were rarely given a bi-line.

However, once Donald Trump popped onto the scene with his over 10,000 lies, Political Fact Checkers became heroes.   They began to receive bi-lines, guest spots on news programs, and even their own offices.

So much cozier than mom’s basement!

Now as we face the 2020 elections, PFC’s are beginning to fear for their jobs.  According to a spokes-person for the Keep Us Great Fact Checkers Association (KUGFCA) a growing concern for their jobs arose after fact checking the first Democratic Political Debate. …

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How to Cure Constipation While Reaching Enlightment

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Ayahuasca A Psychedelic Laxative

Every year, thousands of people travel to the Peruvian Amazon to take part in an incredible ritual. Often by firelight, Shamanic Spirit Guides offer a mental and emotional release by way of Ayahuasca. At some point in ancient human history, someone discovered that adding an MAOI inhibitor to Dimethyltryptamine (DMT), would make the user trip balls. That must have been an amazing day in the jungle. Image the surprise!

People often seek out Ayahuasca to purge or overcome mental anguish from previous trauma.  Scientific brain scans have shown that this therapy significantly decreases activity in the areas of the brain associated with trauma (AsapSCIENCE). There is also a less discussed side effect of Ayahuasca use, it makes you poop your pants. 

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Trump Administration Gets Dirty At The G20

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After days of criticism regarding the Trump Administrations “Zero Tolerance” policy towards migrants and the treatment of children in custody; the Administration has decided to take un-precedented steps in what they are calling a “show of solidarity” for these children.

In what she is calling her “final” press conference (we can only hope) Sarah Huckabee Sanders told a crowd of baffled reporters that the Trump Administration has decide not to shower or brush their teeth until all the children in DHS custody are able to shower themselves.  Sanders reported that even though the President is at the G-20 summit he is committed to this new policy and will refrain from any personal hygiene during his trip.

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Speaking to the press upon his arrival at the g20 summit President Trump explained that after speaking with his…

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